60 Funny Graduation Quotes to Complete your Graduation Day

funny graduation quotes

A graduation is a special event that calls for special sentiments. This is the time to have fun and lean on the expression of others. The many people who offered their words of wisdom to graduates over the years could probably fill a book with words of advice. But hey, things can even be happier during graduation if you add a bit of humor to these words of advice to the graduates.

After the many years of struggles and hard school work, a graduate deserves to be happy. That is why we bring you these funny graduation quotes to help you stay away from stress and think only of laughter and happiness. After all the hardships, everything will pay off!

60 Funny Graduation Quotes

Here is our collection of funny graduation quotes gathered from a variety of sources. We hope you’ll have fun using these quotes.

1.“Remember, when it comes to applying for jobs, books are judged by their cover! “ – Patricia Akins

2. The college graduate is presented with a sheepskin to cover his intellectual nakedness.” – Robert M. Hutchins

3. “You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.” – David Barry

4. “You can fail at what you don’t want, so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.” – Jim Carrey

5. “To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.” – Reba McEntire

6. “You have the power. You are your own professor now. Which I know is a little creepy because that means you’re showering with your professor. But you have tenure. They can’t fire you.” – Stephen Colbert

7. “Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come home as contemporaries. After twenty-two years of child-raising, they are unemployed.” –  Erma Bombeck

8. “If at first you don’t succeed, try to hide your astonishment.” – Harry Banks

9. “And if you cannot be wise, pretend to be someone who is wise, and then just behave as they would.” – Neil Gaiman

10. “Success is often the result of taking a misstep in the right direction.” –  Al Bernstein

11. “Friends and classmates are God’s way of apologizing for your relatives.” –  Unknown

12. “Follow your passion. Stay true to yourself. Never follow someone else’s path unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path. By all means, you should follow that.” – Ellen DeGeneres

13. “A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car. But if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad.” – Theodore Roosevelt

14. “A man of genius is privileged only as far as he is a genius. His dullness is as insupportable as any other dullness.” –  Ralph Waldo Emerson

15. “Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.” –  George Burns

16. “As you set off into the world, don’t be afraid to question your leaders. But don’t ask too many questions at one time or that are too hard, because your leaders will get tired and/or cranky.” – Will Ferrell

17. “In school, you’re taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you’re given a test that teaches you a lesson.” – Tom Bodett

18. “Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.”  – Will Rogers

19. “A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that “individuality” is the key to success. “ – Robert Orben

20. “It’s always a good move to listen to that inner voice…if it doesn’t lead to a crime.” – Lisa Kudrow

21. “Graduation is a tough day for parents. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come back home as contemporaries. After twenty-two years, they are unemployed. “ – Unknown

22. “Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.” –  Jim Carrey

23. “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” – Thomas Edison

24. “Never take a solemn oath. People think you mean it.” – Norman Douglas

25. “Always be the first-rate version of yourself, instead of the second-rate version of somebody else.” – Judy Garland

26. “The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.” – Sarah Brown

27. “We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.” – Oscar Wilde

28. “Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.” –  Will Rogers

29. “If you’re still playing beer pong five years from now, you may be on the wrong track.” – Eric Idle

30. “The best advice I can give anybody about going out into the world is this: Don’t do it. I have been out there. It is a mess.” – Russell Baker

31. “You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose.”  – Dr. Seuss

32. “When they hand you your diploma, keep moving. Just in case they try to take it back.” – Unknown

33. “Commencement speeches were invented largely in the belief that outgoing college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated.” – Garry Trudeau

34. “Life has no remote… get up and change it yourself!” – Mark A. Cooper

35. “Success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.” – Winston Churchill

36. “A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that ‘individuality’ is the key to success.” – Robert Orben

37. “Never follow anyone else’s path, unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path. Then by all means follow that path.” –  Ellen DeGeneres

38. “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.” –  W.C. Fields

39. “To those of you who received honors, awards and distinctions, I say well done. And to the C students, I say you, too, can be president of the United States.” – George W. Bush

40. “Follow your passion, stay true to yourself, never follow someone else’s path unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path then by all means you should follow that.” – Ellen DeGeneres

41. “I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.” – attributed to Mark Twain

42. “Success is relative. It is what we can make of the mess we have made of things.” –  T.S. Eliot

43. “Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m schizophrenic, and so am I.” –  Oscar Levant

44. “Life is hard. After all, it kills you.” –  Katharine Hepburn

45. “I was blessed with a mother who was in a constant state of wonder…And whenever I’d complain or be upset about something, my mother had the same advice: “Darling, change the channel. You are in control of the clicker. Don’t replay the bad, scary movie.” –  Arriana Huffington

46. “Your families are extremely proud of you. You can’t imagine the sense of relief they are experiencing. This would be a most opportune time to ask for money.” –  Gary Bolding

47. “Commencement speeches were invented largely in the belief that outgoing college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated.” –  Garry Trudeau

48. “So long as your desire to explore is greater than your desire to not screw up, you’re on the right track. “ – Ed Helms

49. “Be stupid, be dumb, be funny, if that’s who you are. Don’t try to be someone that society wants you to be; that’s stupid. So be yourself.” – Christina Grimmie

50. “If you’re going to do something tonight that you’ll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.” – Henny Youngman

51. “Most comedy is based on getting a laugh at somebody else’s expense. And I find that that’s just a form of bullying in a major way. So I want to be an example that you can be funny and be kind, and make people laugh without hurting somebody else’s feelings.” – Ellen DeGeneres

52. “It’s such a funny thing when you see your daughter transitioning from your baby, your little girl, to suddenly being a young woman. If you’re not really looking for it, you can miss it, and Lily-Rose is on that road already, and there’s nothing I can do to stop it.” –  Johnny Depp

53. “Every year, many, many stupid people graduate from college. And if they can do it, so can you.” –  John Green

54. “Group projects make me understand why Superman works alone.” –  Unknown

55. “During a test, students look up for inspiration, down in desperation, and left and right for information.” –  Unknown

56. “As long as algebra is taught in school, there will be prayer in school.” –  Cokie Roberts

57. “Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.” – Will Rogers

58. “I lost a bet because you graduated.” –  Unknown

59. “We always knew you’d barely graduate.” –  Unknown

60. “At graduation you get to wear a cap and gown, but it’s a good idea to also wear something underneath it.” – Greg Tamblyn

Conclusion

These funny graduation quotes will help decompress the graduate’s stress. However, make sure to use these quotes according to the graduate’s sense of humor so that you don’t offend them. These quotes will surely create a good laugh. Have fun using these quotes and you might even inspire the graduate.